frenchtown fiber

Chris Mundy and Kate House try to make art while navigating the crap life throws at them.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Emotional Weather Report

We have a friend, Mark, who works for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. He is a for-real weather man, not the kind that just tells you the weather on TV. According to him, forcasting the weather is largely statistics. He is a scientist, and he is dispassionate about the whole thing. We, on the other hand, are not scientists, and to us the weather can be cruel and has the power wreck a picnic or wreak havoc on our emotional well-being. Like, right now.

It is hard to suppress the urge to call Mark and complain about the weather. Or to see if he might know when this dreadful pattern will end. I remember one really steamy August, the summer Joe and I got married, we asked him, "For cryin' out loud, when is it gonna cool off??" He replied, cooly, "Sometime around mid-September." Thanks.

Joe called him yesterday to complain about the rain, and here is a transcript of the message we came home to on the answering machine:

"The weather report:
Today... rain.
Tonight... rain.
Tomorrow... rain.
Tomorrow night... rain, with a chance of thunder storms.
The day after tomorrow... rain
The night of the day after tomorrow... rain, heavy at times.

Thank you."
(hang up)

I'm going to kick his ass the next time I see him.

Tom Waits wrote a great song called, "Emotional Weather Report" Here are the lyrics, which I think you should read:

late night and early morning low clouds
with a chance of fog
chance of showers into the afternoon
with variable high cloudiness
and gusty winds, gusty winds
at times around the corner of
Sunset and Alvorado
things are tough all over
when the thunder storms start
increasing over the southeast
and south central portions
of my apartment, I get upset
and a line of thunderstorms was
developing in the early morning
ahead of a slow moving coldfront
cold blooded
with tornado watches issued shortly
before noon Sunday, for the areas
including, the western region
of my mental health
and the northern portions of my
ability to deal rationally with my
disconcerted precarious emotional
situation, it's cold out there
colder than a ticket taker's smile
at the Ivar Theatre, on a Saturday night
flash flood watches covered the
southern portion of my disposition
there was no severe weather well
into the afternoon, except for a lone gust of
wind in the bedroom
in a high pressure zone, covering the eastern
portion of a small suburban community
with a 103 and millibar high pressure zone
and a weak pressure ridge extending from
my eyes down to my cheeks cause since
you left me baby
and put the vice grips on my mental health
well the extended outlook for an
indefinite period of time until you
come back to me baby is high tonight
low tomorrow, and precipitation is

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