I Try To Do Too Many Things

I was sitting in Borders the other night, (thankfully, this one is not closing) looking through a stack of books and magazines.I often hang out at Borders while I wait for Kate to be finished with this or that activity. Joe and I decided to re do the walkway through our backyard that leads to the garage area. It is made of concrete and it is a broken, sunken-down mess. I was going to buy a book about laying down a brick walk, but decided that the public library is a better bet. So instead of books about walks, I was looking at books about art journaling. I started getting a minor anxiety attack. First of all, I was looking at the books and thinking, what is the point of looking at this stuff? It does not bring me any closer to making my own art, and further more, it tempts me to buy ever more cool supplies for art I don't have time to make. Why don't I have time to make art???

So, I start to play that movie in my head again. I have to take Kate to... everywhere... at least 2 nights per week. My parents come on Wednesday, and I food-shop one day per week. My car is a disgusting mess and I need to clean it. I need to order another seat cover for the driver's seat, because the current one is shredded. (What would the actual seat look like if I had never covered it in the first place?) I've gained 16 pounds and I look fat again. I should exercise more. I need to live a long time and take care of Kate. I like to garden. When I got back from Italy, the lawn was knee high and the various beds were taken over with weeds. I have been trying to catch up ever since. I have some more to do before I am ready for summer. I am trying to re-create the gardens of Italy... mainly artfully arranged terracotta pots. I looked into buying the huge Italian pots I saw. I may as well just save a little extra money and just go back again. My suitcase is still in the living room from my trip to Italy, from which I returned on May 7. I want to sort through all of our trip photos and do something really cool with them. I signed up for another college course. I usually take the summer quarter off, but since I took the Spring quarter off for my trip, I am taking a course, History again. (1815 to 1900)  I drink too much wine. I need new glasses. Our garage needs to be painted. We have an ant problem in the kitchen. We have 2 trees in the front of our house that need to be taken down. My son isn't doing that well. Not awful, but not great. He seems kind of lost and unfocused. He and Joe have some friction. Joe gets mad because my son eats all of the corn chips, I'm worried that he will never get off the ground to real adulthood.

So, I have this movie playing in my head, and I start to quietly freak out. I realize that I can't focus on anything. I guess it is because I try to focus on too much. So, I look at art magazines as the next best thing to actually making art. (I wonder how many people do this?) I think, what thing can I cut out out of my life? I started this "shop from home" thing with my supermarket, but it has become so popular that often times I can't get the time slot I want! I want to pick up the food on the way home from work. Well surprise, so does everyone else! The last time I ended up just doing the shopping myself after all. I am definitely reducing the number of garden beds I have now. I can ask my parents not to come on Wednesdays any more. But I don't really want to do that, they seem to look forward to it all week. I can cut down on Kate's activities. Well, that is her whole life, all of her social interaction. Yikes, I forgot to mention, I am having some health issues! There is a "procedure" in my future. There is something that will clog your brain. Maybe I should stop taking college courses?

FYI these images were taken in Florence