Art and Fear

Art and Fear is a book I read a long time ago that talks about the realities of being an artist. I highly recommend this book to anyone who makes art. One thing they bring up is how it is possible for you think your art doesn't look like art. It doesn't look like other people's art, therefore, it isn't right. I suffer this a lot. I have been working on an art journal. I'm not sure what I want it to be exactly, since I have never made one before. I've been all over the internet looking at examples of Art Journals and have come across videos on techniques. I made 2 pages and I liked them very much. But, now, a few days later, I'm not sure. The problem, I believe, is my handwriting. First of all I'm not even sure I have anything to say. Also, how much do I want to reveal? It's hard to envision any piece of art I could make that would not be seen by anyone. I could not imagine what kind of art I would make with the idea that no one would ever see it but me! But, I digress. My handwriting looks like my handwriting. Not what one commonly sees on this type of work. Sometimes it is old handwriting from some piece of ephemera. Sometimes it is rubber stamped or printed. So, when I see my own handwriting on the page it doesn't look right. It doesn't look like art. I'm resisting the urge to not use my own writing. Of course, it is unique to me, and where else can you get that?

Joe was away all weekend skiing, so I spent a lot of time art-making and some time watching TV. Joe and I never watch TV. When he is not around, and I am doing hand-work, I like something on the TV that I can listen to while I work, like a documentary. At any given time, there really is almost nothing I am interested in. Often times I will land on Discovery Health. On Sunday I caught this show about some clinic in NYC for morbidly obese people. Generally what finally gets these people into the clinic is some other disorder that no surgeon will operate on until they weigh 400 pounds or under. That gives you the idea of how big these people are, typically 500 or 600 pounds. One guy had some kind of tumor on his leg that was absolutely huge, like, it took over his whole leg. They kept showing close ups of it and him trying to move around with this thing. It was so disgusting, yet you could not look away, know what I mean? He had been in the clinic for 2 years and had gained 36 pounds! I'm watching this and thinking that it was almost like porn, it was so strangely titillating (Not in a sexual way for me, but I understand there are people out there like this) that it really was exploiting the people on the show. There are so many overweight people in this country, I'm thinking part of an appeal of this show is so that you can say, "At least I'm not like that!" and feel pretty good about yourself. On top of all this is the commercials that repeat over and over again. If you don't watch TV you aren't used to this and it drives you crazy in a hurry. I probably won't watch TV again until Joe goes away for a weekend again.

Back to art, I found a web sight that lets you download images for free. I believe it is called The Graphics Fairy or something like that. Then I found another connected to Art e-zine, which is out of the UK. I downloaded some stuff, but I'm kind of unsure about all of it. I want images that no one else has. That means going into an antique store and finding you own ephemera and photographs. Maybe this weekend? My art journal will have 8 boards, which means 16 pages. I need Joe to drill them for me. I have a seashell on one of the pages, and I should have waited until he drilled first, but I was too impatient. I wish he would do this tonight, but we already have a date to go food shopping after work. We are in code white as far as food goes. Code white is when you open the fridge and your eyes are blinded by the whiteness--- emptiness of the thing. We'll probably spend $250 minimum.

Journal Collage #2

Floor Plan: Attic Studio

Here is a little floorplan I worked up just for the heck of it. All I can think of is my little studio.

Ice Day

Today I "worked from home" rather than brave the ice and snow. A lot of trees down and traffic lights out. I mostly monitored my e-mail and calmed the fears of people that want their posters printed on time.

Joe also had the day off, the plumbing company he works for shut down. Unfortunately, he will not be paid. He made the most of the day, however, BY WORKING IN THE ATTIC! I had the idea that this could be an art day, but when I wasn't responding to e-mails, I was helping Joe. He was putting up insulation (a multi-step process) and I was helping by holding it up while he stapled it. It is terribly awkward for him, here is a picture:

But we got one whole side of one end finished. We aren't even working on my end of the attic yet.

Meanwhile, here is a picture of my new desk space in the cellar. I can't wait to mess it up with a project

Here is my sewing machine on the desk. Really not cutting it. Notice the shower curtain hung up in front of the wall. It keeps the constant crumbling grit from getting near the machine. *sigh*

Transformation of my Wretched Studio Space

Kim says thank you for permission to throw out her own fabric scraps and thread trash, as I related in my previous post. You're welcome. Here is the dilemma. We throw away too much. Recycling is a noble act. At the same time, if we save everything, not throwing away because the item is perfectly good, we will be consumed by crap. I've gotten to know a number of annual and bi-annual rummage sales in my area and I give the "perfectly good" stuff to them. They'll make a couple of bucks and I am relieved of the item and the guilt of throwing it away. Some things are more tricky. I burn a lot of candles. What do I do with the stubs? I could save them in a bucket, melt them down and make more candles. I even have molds from my candle-making days. But seriously, when am I going to make candles? And, will they be any good? Maybe if I was unemployed this would make sense. Also, I read about a project where someone was making tote bags out of the material that encases a brick of coffee. I thought, now that is cool. I was saving the coffee brick wrappers for a while. One day my husband asked me why I was saving them. As I began to explain it to him, I realized how crazy it was. At least, for me. This is also part of the ADD thing I have going on. I have so little spare time, Should I spend it sewing together trash? Maybe I will someday, but not now. I try to remain focused. I try.

My studio is in our cellar. Our house is very old, and the cellar is made of stones. It is extremely damp and very cold this time of year. There is virtually no natural light, because my evergy-nazi husband has blocked the tiny windows with insulation. Most people I am sure would consider this intolerable, but this is my space and I make the best of it. There is an on-going project to finish our attic and make my studio up there. I expect this to take another year.

So, in my recent switch over to more mixed media than art quilts (Which is not a big leap, really) I began rummaging around the studio and then reorganizing. I had my sewing machine on an old kitchen table, and a storage "thing" on top of a desk where I was supposed to do other work. The space left on the desk was small and usually cluttered with  stuff. So, I decided to switch the sewing machine to the desk. I really like the new space I made for myself on the table. But the desk really is too small for the sewing machine, too. It's OK, because I see now that what I need for the future attic space is two tables, not a table and a desk..

Joe, my husband, has been actively working on the space lately. I go up there to help him when it is feasable, and we have discussions about what I need. He is going to replace the crappy windows up there and cut a skylight into the roof. We have talked about the placement of my different workstations, what kind of outlets and storage are possible. Of course, in an attic, the biggest challenge is the lack of straight walls. As a joke, I asked him if I could get a sink up there, but he said it was possible! Like a little stainless steel prison sink. Ijust want a water source. Joe is also going to install electric baseboard heat up there, and we were in Home Depot talking to someone about the gage of wire that was required. The man at the Depot asked how big the space was, and ha ha, we didn't know! I need to go up there and measure it. I want to sketch up a floor plan and make little furniture pieces and move them around. Maybe I will get to do that tomorrow, as we are expecting a wicked ice storm around here and maybe we will get another weather day off!

Mixed Media is a Curse

Check it out, this is how I felt cleaning out my studio this weekend.

I copped this picture from this blog

It started with making greeting cards, and morphed into mixed media collage. I started looking for tools and materials that I had not used or seen in some time. That led to cleaning out the studio. This led to a re-examination of the way I work, and that led to throwing out a lot of things I don't use. It was mostly scraps of fabric. I mean tiny shreds that some people use. I've read articles about people making collage and art quilts using tangled threads... I think they called it thread trash. I looked at the plastic bin of tiny scraps and thread trash that I never touch, and realized that I just don't work that way. I went through it and rescued a few things, but chucked the rest.

This brings me to my subject, that mixed media is a curse. When you are a knitter, you have yarn and needles, maybe some books. When you embroider, it's the same with the addition of the fabric you will embroider on. When you are a painter, you have more supplies; paints, brushes, canvas, easel, some tools, a palette, some chemicals. When you are a mixed media artist, you have ALL THAT AND MORE! You have everything, and you need to figure out a way to store it. Add found objects and upcycling to the mix and it's really over the top. There are entire magazines devoted to it. Cloth Paper Scissors Studio is about space and organization porn. Not only are these studios vast and amazingly decorated, but they are neat! I would defy them to show a messy studio, but I guess no one really wants to see that. We are not interested in reality. We want the fantasy of a neat studio.Or, at least the possibility of it. More about what I did with my studio this weekend in my next post.

New Work

I'm Probably ADD

I've always found it hard to focus on just one thing. It's not really a matter of not being able to,. I could be down in the studio for hours working on something. It's more a matter of there being so many cool things to try that I can't stop myself from trying them. Case in point. Over Christmas, a group of local crafts people got together and had a show of their work in a gallery in town. (I'm going to try to get in with these people next year.) anyway, there is a person who was selling greeting cards. She had sewn contrasting paper onto a blank greeting card and rubber stamped something over that. They were very nice, yet I said to myself, "I can do better." So I went home and gave it a try. Next thing, I am going through magazines looking for mixed media ideas. I am looking through piles of supplies that I haven't looked through in ages. Then I started making valentines. Then I was looking online at videos artists made of themselves demonstrating mixed media techniques. So now I'm making mixed media collage. Yikes! My head is all crammed up with stuff, but I am enjoying it.

I was thinking, "Should I sell these on Etsy?" Then I decided, "To hell with that." I'm just going to share them with friends and family.

 

What Does ARC Stand For?

I only post, like, every 3 months, but I act like everyone who follows this blog remembers the details of my life. Someone asked what ARC stands for, Association of Retarded Citizens. Even though "retarded" has become something of a slur, that is the name of this organization.

I have just finished my college work for the week. I have wised up and only take one class at a time now, instead of two. I'll never graduate at this rate, but who cares? The world is ending in 2012. This term I have American History to 1815. It is an excellent class and I am really enjoying it. I recommend actual university learning as opposed to Glenn Beck "university." What a clown that guy is.

Anyway, I will now work on some mixed media greeting cards! Have a nice Saturday.

Kate's Yearly Trip

Kate usually goes on a cruise with the ARC every year. This year they are taking a Disney cruise, and it is kind of expensive, but, it looked pretty cool. They were supposed to be seeing Mayan ruins. However, Kate, her boyfriend, and 2 other friends have decided to stage a mutiny. They are doing their own trip. I was a little leary about the whole thing, thinking that the ARC will go on their cruise no matter what (almost), but anything can happen with this private thing. The reason they bailed is that someone they don't like is going. When you have a disability like this, you are kind of forced to get along with some people, and just because they are disabled doesn't mean the aren't capable of being mean and annoying. The real problem here is that this person's mother is coming, too, so that makes it more awful. This mother runs Kate's social group, so there are veiled threats, that if you aren't nice to her child, no matter how obnoxious she is being, you risk being asked to leave the group. That is why they have decided not to go.

But, moving on, that "anything" that could happen to the private trip happened pretty quickly. One of Kate's friend's mom, who was one of the organizers, was diagnosed with brain cancer. I told Kate to forget it, that this would send the family into a tailspin, and this trip would most likely not happen. Then we got word that one of the Moms had dropped out (not the one with brain cancer) I should explain right now that I was never going on this trip. These two families planning it, and if they wanted to invite Kate, that was fine.

So now, one mom has cancer, the other one doesn't want to go. But The daughter of one of the moms stepped up and would take them all to Disney World. We had a meeting at  a restaurant and it turns out that the daughter, I'm guessing her age at mid to late 30's, has been a Special Olympic volunteer for 20 years AND has been to Disney world 22 times. 22 TIMES!!! I went once and I'm good. But anyway, this trip is on, despite everything. So now the fun begins, I have to hustle ID, payments, phone calls, signed forms and whatever else. I expect it to be less onerous than an ARC trip, which requires paperwork you would not believe. I'm taking Kate to an ARC dance in a few minutes, she looks really pretty. Too bad it;s so freakin' cold out there.